Thomas Goes 2D

Well, this has caused some controversy, because... of course it has.

Some background. A couple of weeks ago, Mattel announced that there would be more content next year, but there would be, you guessed it, another shake up of the formula.

Whether that means the show moving away from the global aspect the show went in for the past few years is unknown (but it would be unsurprising), but it does mean that the storytelling style is changing again, with more focus on Thomas being the star of the show.

And this is the first issue. Executives want to put more focus on Thomas because kids identify with him more than the others. But the previous writing style enforced on the team by the executives hasn't allowed kids to fully connect with other characters!

BWBA had Thomas appearing everywhere. Other characters on Sodor barely got a starring role to themselves. And even if they did, more often than not, Thomas was always right behind them.

This problem was made ten times worse when things went international. The executives had so little faith (or, most likely, no interest) in the other members of the Steam Team (remember that?) that Thomas had to be in every single one, either as the star or as the character who, more often than not, caused the conflicts.

So, in essence, they're taking the idea of the global episodes and applying it across the whole series. This means that Thomas' personality could become even more muddled to the point where it becomes so dry and uninteresting that I wouldn't be surprised if the target audience started to notice. Whether they'll care or not, we won't know. Some, possibly most, parents still shove their kids in front of a TV (or a tablet now, if they can afford it) because it's easier for them than looking after their kids (in fairness, most parents barely get any help from governments so that they can have a proper break, so it's understandable in a way. And I'm not saying that using screens is a detriment to a child. There just needs to be a better balance of screen, parental responsibility and support for parents and carers).

Things went quiet for a while and it seemed like things would return to normal with older fans whining about insignificant things as per usual. And then... and then.

October 12th, 2020. Business Wire published a report offiially announcing that Thomas and Friends was returning for 104 new episodes (four series of 26) and two specials. Nothing special there, right? Well, they also announced that the franchise would be animated in 2D by Nelvana and Corus Entertainment, while publishing the above promotional image.

Cue massive meltdown from older fans. Especially the ones outing themselves as fascist sympathisers.

Now, let's be honest here: we all knew that there would be changes with the animation when the show returned. Jam Filled announced on their Instagram last year that they'd moved on from the franchise. And although the animation wasn't as good as when Arc was in charge (before they went bankrupt), it still looked unique from any other show.

The reboot, however... doesn't. It feels really cheap, and it looks bland and uninteresting. And that is something that has never been felt before with the franchise. Even the Railway Series had some top quality artwork for its illustrations. Series 13-16, in hindsight, rested on its laurels a bit by doing nothing to make things look better or more striking (Arc and Jam Filled constantly tweaked the lighting, camera angles and even the models). But that could never be described as unappealing visually.

Let's be fair here. This is just one promo image. That's not a good indicator of how good or bad the end product will be. That can only be judged when a trailer comes out and we see it in motion. Likewise, we can't be sure of the story quality until next year. But with everything that's been revealed so far, it's going to be interesting to see what the reaction from the target audience will be.

The biggest problem for me is that the show is in danger of losing its identity. Changing a show's formula every four or five years (seriously, since 2004, things have been altered every four years. Either due to a change in management, financial issues or, since 2017, just because) makes a show seem desperate and cloying. Shows like Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol probably haven't changed much since they were born, but they're still relevant and popular today. Hell, Fireman Sam hasn't changed much (other than the switch to CG and the use of updated tech) and that feels like it has more of an identity than Thomas at this point.

The sad thing is that, while it had a really slow start (and I was switched off by it during the first series), Big World, Big Adventures was really coming into its own. Thomas & the Forest Engines is one of my favourite episodes of that era of the show, maybe of the franchise in general (I've been meaning to talk about that since I saw it), and the episode quality in general was becoming more consistent. It could've been something really great had it been given time. But alas, executives have no time for slow burns when they demand instant returns.

How this next reboot will go over with younger fans, time will tell. I hope it's a success; it would be a shame if this generation of kids was the one that dropped off of Thomas & Friends. But if it is, there's no one to blame but the pricks at the top who constantly cut the tracks away from the franchise the minute it finds some stability.

"But what about the older fans?" Frankly, I don't care. The franchise has never been catered towards anyone beyond the age of 8. Older fans only watch it now either out of habit or because they want something to hate in their lives, which is a sad existence to lead.

Let's be blunt here, most older fans don't care about children (although some could care about them in an intimate way, but that's another issue entirely). They only care about themselves and going back to where things were. Every single complaint I see is one rooted in nostalgia. "I want the models back!" "Bring back BoCo and Bertram!". Hell, even if they got exactly what they wanted, they'd still find a way to bitch about it. That's all that older fans care about; whinging about a franchise they supposedly care about because they'd have nothing else to do otherwise.

I'm willing to watch it and give it a chance. If it doesn't click, I won't watch it again. If the target audience likes it, that's all that matters. Older, entitled brats have no right to dictate what kids should and shouldn't like.

Emily the Enigma

It's been a while..! It seems the show is either coming to an end or going on hiatus for a year. So with series 24 beginning to air in the UK (after it's aired in Australia and the US), I think it's time to look back on the most controversial of the main characters. Well, until two years ago..!

Emily was a real base breaker from the get go. One year after a trio of solid appearances, she became a main character in an attempt to push more prominent female representation, while fan favourites from the Little Western were abandoned for years. The problem is that... well, it didn’t make much of a difference. Probably because they thought it a great idea to change her personality from stern, caring mother to spoiled, bossy brat. Because, for some reason, they thought that falling back on negative female stereotypes would be a good idea.

Not only that, but they didn’t put much focus on any existing, or newly introduced, females at all. And even when they did, it was always with the caveat that the males were the true stars while the females were portrayed negatively. Molly needed Thomas’ help to feel special, Rosie was a creepy stalker and Flora was what most uncritical people believe a Disney princess to be. Meanwhile, Annie and Clarabel only spoke once or twice, Daisy was only in Calling All Engines (and, obviously, didn’t speak), Henrietta wasn’t allowed to do anything due to a lack of face and Mavis only had a few cameos here and there (her personality wasn't butchered though, so... yay?). Because of this, Emily’s move to Steam Team member couldn’t have felt any more performative if it tried.

These problems only persisted into the CG era, and were only highlighted further by the fact that she and Mavis were the only non-human female characters (besides Annie, Clarabel and Henrietta) in the show until Millie and Caitlin were introduced in 2013. 5. Years. Later. As much as misogynistic fans don’t want to admit it, the show does have a problem with female representation. Or, at least, it did until they actually started to take the problem seriously, turned Daisy into the best character of the show, introduced more female characters, balanced out the main cast (in terms of numbers, the balance is still a bit off when it comes to personality. Although that could be due to the fact that the male characters have been around from the get go rather than only three years) and giving some of the female human characters much bigger positions on the global railways (still no female crew members on Sodor, though..!).

But despite all of this, Emily still felt as though she was being left behind. For the first four years of the CG era, she didn't have her own whistle sound, continuing to borrow Henry's instead. And her starring roles weren't much to write home about either. Her Nitrogen era episodes were rather average (although, in her defence, everyone got shafted during that era), while her starring roles during the Brenner era all amounted to her trying to find her place/feel as important as her other stars. Almost as if the writing team knew what the problem was, yet had no clue how to fix it..!

Oh, and before anyone mentions it, No Snow for Thomas probably was her best role, but she was a supporting character to Thomas' story of not wanting to wear his snowplough. That said, her motherly nature, combined with some excitability and cheek, on display in that episode was great. And it was consistently great when she wasn't in the spotlight. Heck, it was even more important once Edward left the shed.

But if you want a prime example of how much Emily got shafted, she was the last member of the main cast to get a number. Even Nia and Rebecca had them from the get go! And the funniest (in a really sad way) thing about that? She got it in the last series of the show (for now, at least) in the last episode she had a major role in. Frankly, she should've been given a number either from the get go or the second it was decided that she would be in the main cast. Visually, her lack of number made her stand out like a sore thumb. And while it was nice that she was given it as a reward for her bravery rather than it popping out of nowhere, doing it so late - and giving her nothing else afterwards - feels like a massive kick in the teeth for her.

To sum up, Emily is how I've described her in the title: a total enigma. There's been a lot of things done with her, yet everything has an asterisk next to it.

• She was given two coaches, but they were non-descript due to their lack of sentience.
• She became a main character and had a personality change, yet she only had one or two starring roles to work with per series (she might have had more in series 8).
• The sheds were rebuilt to accomodate her, yet she offered nothing of value until her personality was reverted in the CG era.
• She was given a number... in her last major role to date.

Honestly, it's hard not to feel sorry for her. The fans were against her since series 8 for replacing a popular character, and that only died down when Rebecca and Nia turned up. Meanwhile, the only memorable thing the writers did with her was a mean spirited "joke" dressed as fan service in Duck and the Slip Coaches (I'll forever hate that moment). Hell, they have the perfect idea of a character for her with the motherly/sisterly dynamic she has in supporting roles. Yet every time she stars, they go with the typical "girl characters with self confidence issues" trope for... no reason, really. Meanwhile, Daisy and Marion got some amazing starring roles and they're predominantly supporting characters.

It's difficult to say what the future holds for the franchise. But if it does come back to TV with a new series or special, they really need to figure out what to do with Emily. They can change the look of her as much as they want. But until they keep the personality consistent, and they start treating her as an equal to her colleagues like they did with Rebecca and Gordon, it will continue feeling like style over substance with her.

And, frankly, a character as tenured as Emily deserves better than that.

Season 22: Thomas’ Animal Ark

That title makes little sense since arks are boats. But it was yet another sweet episode... with animals.

I’ve said this previous reviews, but it bears repeating. The team can’t complain about fans wanting a railway documentary yet turn a show about railways into nature documentaries. Don’t get me wrong, I like this one, but they’ve been using animals as a crutch far too often this season. It’s as though they’re being transparent about how threatened they are by Paw Patrol. If you want to make an animal based show, no one is stopping you. But the familiarity of these episodes is breeding contempt. At least for me.

Like I say though, I do still like this one. It’s another sweet, heartwarming episode that’s actually rather funny. Especially when the animals arrive in the sheds. Who knew one of the most entertaining dynamics this season would include James and an ostrich?

One thing I really like is that, although they’ve been hit and miss, Thomas’ worldwide experiences are having a practical use back home, meaning they’re not completely pointless. I’m sure a lot of fans will squeal “But Donald and Douglas!” but the Sodor episodes have enough of a bloated cast as it is. They don’t need more characters to add to the pile.

Also, the lesson of helping those less fortunate was just lovely. With so many people struggling these days due to greed or stupid decisions based on xenophobia and lies, it’s also more important than ever to help others if you can. 

I saw a complaint about the joke with Henry and the Fat Controller, saying “it says a lot about how they’re treating Henry!”. To that I say: it’s a joke as old as time. If you wanted a moment that was indicative of Henry’s treatment, look at Forever and Ever and how handwaved his absence from Tidmouth Sheds was.

Final Thoughts

It’s probably not saying much, but this is the one of the best episodes of the season. It’s funny, it’s charming, it’s heartwarming and it has a great lesson. You really can’t ask for more.

Rating: Great (10/10)

Season 22: Counting on Nia

It’s an educational episode that’s... actually good?

I like Nia. She’s feisty, takes no nonsense and she’s really clever. But I also like that she takes pride in her problem solving skills as it makes you feel sympathetic to her when she makes a mistake. And it makes sense for her character to not want to seek help when she needs it.

So to put her in a situation where she’d need help was a great role for her to star in. Granted, it’s her only starring role since the movie, which is a shame, but I guess they thought that was enough..?

I also like how they emphasised how intelligent Nia was. Usually, I hate that conflicts kick in quite far in to an episode (or, in an overarching narrative, far in to the season). But I feel it worked here as Nia’s mistakes had more of an impact, not just on her but the audience as well.

It also does a great job of emphasising the struggle of an immigrant coming to a new country, namely learning to recognise the new symbols and numbers they see. But by focusing on numbers, it does an even better job of being relatable for the target audience, especially those with dyscalculia. Heck, even adults with the condition would probably take something positive away from it.

Putting Nia with Annie and Clarabel was a brilliant move (why Thomas wasn’t taking them, I’ll let slide). The coaches have always been seen as level headed mentors throughout the franchise, and that shone through brilliantly here. It’s also a breath of fresh air to see an all female starring cast. Sure, it’s been happening for a couple of years now, but it’s still really nice to see.

The plot itself is focused, but... still fairly thin. In this case, it’s not the worst thing since the focus is on the lesson and how Nia learns to overcome her problems in her own way. But the team really need to work on that in future episodes and seasons.

Then there are the themes. “Ask when you need help” is a good lesson, but it’s been overdone so much by children’s media (this show included) that it’s another lesson that loses its meaning. Thankfully, this pulled that lesson off in a unique enough way.

The second is that people learn in their own way, which is a fantastic lesson and one that adults need to learn. They need to work with kids more to pinpoint the best techniques to teach kids rather than stick to a rigid, flawed syllabus that teaches them only one way. It leaves so many kids behind, and they deserve much, much more.

Final Thoughts

It says a lot when an episode makes you go out and look at real world conditions like dyscalculia to learn more about them. Because I think that kids (maybe even adults) who have that will gravitate to this more than the majority of people.

Sure, the theme of asking for help is another one that’s been done so often by this show, and in children’s media in general. But it’s done in a unique enough way that I don’t mind that much. Add the great characters and the plot that’s... not that strong, but fairly well paced, and you get a genuinely good effort!

Rating: Good (8/10)

Season 22: Banjo and the Bushfire

For fuck sake... The end of the season is so close, yet it feels so far away thanks to episodes like this.

I’m getting sick to death of saying it, but it’s now reaching its nadir. People don’t come to this show to watch fucking nature documentaries! They come to watch locomotives have adventures! Leave the nature documentaries to the people who make them interesting!

The plot is also a mess. The main focuses of the episode (Banjo and the bushfire) last for a minute out of 7 (including the foreshadowing), then the rest just feels like a blatant PSA about cleaning up after yourself and protect all the animals. And as much as I love animals, the fact is it’s impossible to save them all.

Absolutely, they need to be saved from abuse, hunters and other things we can control. But you can’t exactly save koalas from being, from what I can tell, lazy bastards. We couldn’t save the dodo because it couldn’t adapt to survive its environment. We can’t save animals who are hunted for food either by other animals or humans who are desperate to survive. And that’s why nature documentaries are better than santitised bullshit like this. Nature documentaries showcase the harsh realities animals face. This is just saying “save all the animals... regardless of the circumstances.” Ironically, it’s just not realistic.

Also, Tamika is a thing. She’s just... there. I could find no character whatsoever with her. Like the park ranger, she’s either spouting exposition, telling Thomas off or congratulating him for saving the koala. As much as I love that the cast is more diverse, this is the problem with the franchise. There are far too many characters and very little time to give them all time and a personality. Mostly because Thomas hogs all the limelight (it’s called Thomas & Friends; it’s as much about them as it is him).

Final Thoughts

What a terrible way to end the international episodes. But, frankly, I expected nothing less at this point. The plot is a mess, the main conflict is introduced and resolved within a minute (maybe they should’ve focused on the difficulty of dealing with a bushfire? Then they could’ve taught kids about how dangerous fire can be? Then again, Fireman Sam did a whole film about something similar, and it was better) and the characters are, again, uninteresting.

When the only good thing about it was the fantasy sequence with crocodiles, you really need to re-evaluate where the show heads in the future, and how to handle the worldwide episodes better.

Rating: Atrocious (-9/10)

Season 22: The Case of the Puzzling Parts

It took 7 minutes for Sidney to realise he needed repairing after an incident we never see...

I like the idea of episodes that have a bit of mystery around them. But when the solution becomes so obvious, even for a preschool show, that’s where I draw the line. It all becomes padding, and makes the whole mystery, and the episode itself, pointless.

And all it leads to is yet another lesson about teamwork. Yeah, we get it. Being part of a team can solve many different situations. Can we have a lesson that hasn’t been driven into the ground yet?

I’ll be fair though, and say that the episode tried to be entertaining at least. The fantasy sequence, and its set up, were actually pretty funny. As was Sidney’s “rubbish” joke. Sure, it was like a really bad dad joke, but... eh, at least they tried.

Other than that, though, there’s really nothing to talk about. And that’s what’s frustrating about this whole season: even the good episodes just don’t stand out at all. There’s nothing that truly goes that extra mile. Maybe two episodes are bad in unique ways, but the rest just seem as though they’re coasting. Even the good ones are falling back on tropes that worked in the past.

Final Thoughts

This is an episode that’s designed to be watched once. And even watching the first time, the mystery is obvious, and Sidney is just made to look an idiot. As is whoever decided to have a flatbed delivered to the Dieselworks, only for Sidney to take it out again so that it can be brought back for him! I felt confused just typing that!

Bad storytelling, overused lesson, the fantasy sequence was pretty fun. This episode follows this formula for Big World, Big Adventures! episodes to a terrible art.

Rating: Awful (-5/10)

Season 22: Kangaroo Christmas

I get what they were going for here. But considering how so many festive episodes focus on family and being with those you love... was it really necessary to do it again in Australia?

That’s a bit harsh, in fairness. Because, overall, this is a really sweet, charming little episode. The heart is definitely in the right place and the kangaroos are cute as hell. And setting it in an Australian December was a great way to strengthen the message.

The story is well paced, it’s genuinely sad when the kangaroo takes the toy away with it and the theme is excellent. Again, not particularly original, but still great.

But... I feel that the theme is weakened slightly by the fact that they’re looking for a toy. Granted, if anyone took my Build a Bear Pikachu, I’d be inconsolable as well. But if the plot revolved around one of the girl’s parents being absent while working with kangaroos (especially one whose joey was missing), it may have meant a bit more.

Also, that kangaroo’s comedic timing when it threw the toy away was a bit ridiculous. Funny, and it led to one of the most charming moments of the reboot so far, but still a bit silly. Even for the cartoony nature they’re going for.

Final Thoughts

Nitpicks aside, I genuinely think this is the first great worldwide episode so far. The story flows well, the characters are great and the theme is excellent. I could definitely have done without so much exposition though. And yeah, the lack of originality holds it back from being a truly amazing episode.

Rating: Great (9/10)

Season 22: Rosie is Red

This is gonna be fun!

Ever since the Italian dub made its way online, this episode has been loved and hated in equal measure for one reason: fans think engines can’t love... for some reason. I’m not going to focus on that again, because I’ve already done a blog post about it. All I’ll say here is that love and sex are two different things. And if these engine characters weren’t meant to feel every human emotion, why bother anthropomorphising them?

Other than that, there’s not much to talk about here either. The story takes a while to get going in order to exposit the idea of Valentine’s Day to the audience. Although I completely agree with Percy that it’s stupid to show your love on just one day (especially when businesses take advantage as much as they can on that day). And the potential of two of the male station staff having feelings for each other was amazingly progressive.

Plus, the whole conflict just feels natural and easy for kids to grasp. They’ll go through this growing up, if they haven’t already. And it’s a great way to teach them how to go about things.

The theme of the episode is also excellent. It teaches that it’s OK to love someone, but it’s also OK to just be friends with them. It also feels more... powerful that the speech came from Thomas. So many men these days feel they’re entitled to a woman solely because they say hi to them. So to teach boys, through Thomas, that girls can be friends with boys and deserve respect too is fantastic. And if more of the season was like this, I would be sticking around. It’s such a frustrating season, that I feel will only get worse in the future.

Final Thoughts

Slow opening aside, this episode was wonderfully sweet and charming. It was experimental, it was fresh, it taught a wonderful lesson and it’s... going to be as undervalued as Diesel & the Ducklings, isn’t it? Ah well, it deserves all the love it can get.

Also, side note, why does this reboot have such an obsession with animals? We’ve had pandas, elephants, tigers, monkeys, the animals in the outback and now a cat? I’m pretty sure that kids don’t tune in to a show about talking locomotives to see animal antics..!

Rating: Great (10/10)

Season 22: Cyclone Thomas

I sometimes wonder whether this worldwide venture is worth it. Then I watch episodes like this and realise it really isn’t.

So Isla is a doctor’s plane... in the same way that Harold the Helicopter can be used for medical emergencies on Sodor. And the episode itself is just a rehash or Thomas and the Jet Plane. There’s nothing new or interesting about it. Even Jeremy is more interesting than Isla. At least he’s a bit cocky.

The theme isn’t even new either. It’s a cross between “play to your strengths” and “be brave”, which other episodes and specials have done better.

Final Thoughts

This is the shortest review I’ve ever done. But frankly, there’s nothing to talk about. Everything this episode did, minus the cyclone, was done on Sodor. And done better.

Rating: Bad (1/10)

Season 22: Runaway Truck

This was another rather nice surprise!

No, it’s not perfect. Thomas having to learn how to shunt in a gentle way feels rather contrived since he’s been seen as a competent shunter multiple times before. And it featured another fantasy sequence where Thomas imagines he’s a hero, even though he’s been a real life hero many times before.

But it’s still got a really good dynamic between Thomas and Yong Bao. This, and Shane, have been a real highlight of this whole shitshow as far as I’m concerned. And to have a whole episode of that is lovely.

What’s also great is that they actually managed to mesh Chinese culture (in this case, Tai Chi) with an actual story that’s well paced. Granted, this shouldn’t be as surprisingly good as it is. But considering how inconsistent the writers have been with this...

Also, the chase scenes were actually pretty exciting. Yeah, they’re cartoony as all hell, but this is also a show where a truck was literally smashed up into the air, did a spin, then landed the wrong upside down before smashing when Gordon accidentally hit it, so..! Sure, it’s silly, but if it keeps kids invested then fair enough.

Also, I did like the theme of being careful. It’s one that’s been done before, but it felt relatively fresh here, and that’s all I can really ask for.

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to say that the whole worldwide venture has been a failure. But it is only the first season of this and there are still diamonds in the rough like this. Everything gelled really well, it was rather dramatic and entertaining and they actually applied a lesson within the episode itself to show that it had been learned.

It’s not perfect, but it’s not really bad either. Unless you hate the cartoony stuff. Then you’ll probably hate this regardless.

Rating: Good (7/10)

Season 22: Hunt the Truck

Edward, you magnificent bastard!

I’m pulling no punches here: I love this episode. And after all the nonsense that the writers have produced this season, this is evidence of what they can do when they really try.

Seeing Edward, Bill and Ben interact again - and be better than they’ve ever been - was fantastic, and something we probably never would’ve had if Edward was still in the position he was last season.

It’s also quite sweet that he interacted with Nia a bit. It won’t exactly calm the manchildren because they’ll still claim he should still be a star... even with all the evidence proving why that’s a terrible idea. But to see a bit of camaraderie between them was a really nice touch.

But the whole thing revolves around the theme. And the theme is excellent. Games are no fun (and jokes not funny) if only one or two people are in on it. So anyone bitching about “oversensitive” people “not getting” your joke, it’s either because only you know the context or your joke/game is just shit.

Also, I imagine fans with get pissy over no BoCo in the episode. First off, that’s on you for hyping yourself up about the idea... again. Second, what purpose would he have served that Edward couldn’t? Sure, it would be nice if he returned. But not for the sake of making you happy. He’d need to make sense for the story.

Final Thoughts

Since the news was announced that Edward would be removed from the main cast, I said it would benefit him more as he could showcase more character in a supporting role. Along comes this episode and proves my point magnificently. He’s the best he’s ever been, as are Bill and Ben. The theme is also brilliant and it’s also one of the best paced episodes this season.

Although I don’t know whether it’s amazing or sad that two of the best episodes of the season have been written by a fan..! But congratulations to Michael White (Whitehousefilms on Twitter) for living your dream and congratulations for writing two knockout episodes in a row!

Rating: Great (10/10)

Season 22: Seeing is Believing

Remember the Apology Impossible review where I laser focused on the theme since the episode itself had little else to talk about?

Ding ding. Round two.

The theme they’re going for here is that “playing make believe is fun”. Fine, that’s their intention. And if the episode ended that way, it would be alright... even if that’s all Merlin’s character amounts to.

The message I got, however, is that it’s OK to believe something exists, and insist that’s the case, and not be challenged about it. And that is incredibly harmful to a child, as far as I’m concerned.

I’m not saying that kids shouldn’t be imaginative, have imaginary friends or believe in fairy tales, unicorns or something like the Easter Bunny. But what do parents do when their child comes up against a tactless arsehole who crushes their dreams by telling them those things don’t exist?

This episode should have gone down that route. Make it a two parter, make James the antagonist again and have him show Percy that Merlin is a real engine. Because he is. This whole thing falls apart because we’re talking about an engine that’s pretending to be invisible. It must be why the ending segment tried to highlight the episode it did, because they knew they messed up after the episode was finished.

Also, consider all the damage that people have done over the years in the name of fictional deities. All the innocent people (mostly black people and women) they’ve killed and abused. All the children they’ve raped. All the children they’ve refused to vaccinate because they’d rather believe bullshit conspiracies over health professionals. All the LGBT people they’ve killed/thrown out of home/refuted service to/whipped and brutalised. Excuse me while I don’t treat lessons like this with utter, utter contempt.

Stubborn people with backwards lessons in the name of these fictional deities need a smack or ten with reality. And the thought of lessons like these emboldening them makes me sick. Absolutely, it should be a nice, charming lesson. But when applied to real life by real people..!

Remember Ghost Train where Percy was bragging about a story his driver told him and his driver laughed and put him in his place? That was the way to handle it. Quickly and efficiently. Sure, Percy felt disappointed. But he dusted himself off because he (and kids in general) are resilient when dealt with in the right way. It also helped that he ended up using the story to get his own back on the bully that I imagined earlier.

Back to this, and the story is poorly paced. It takes so long to set up the conflict that they only have two minutes to work with after that. It’s telling that an episode that was 4:30 in length had better pacing than this. Sure, you could put it down to them being used to the 8:45 time length, but... well, these are supposed to be paid professionals. Working to a time frame is an important writing skill.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, that whole lesson and how it was dealt with leaves an awful taste in my mouth. I know there are good people who believe in imaginary things and people. But knowing this could embolden the bad ones (especially since they’re gaining so much attention in the media recently) is horrifying to me.

Other than that, the poor pacing really detracts from what should be a fun episode. I just feel bad that Trevor is always being dragged into the bad ones. He (and Merlin, for that matter) deserve better...

At least Hugh Bonneville is still voicing Merlin.

Rating: Atrocious (-10/10)

Season 22: The Water Wheel

I don’t give out “You Tried” medals. But if I did, this would be the first recipient of one.

Honestly, there’s really nothing to talk about in terms of the story. They just use an overused trope of Thomas taking a shortcut and things going wrong. This time, however, there’s literally no need for him to do so, other than to contrive a conflict.

Speaking of contrivance, that ending. Of course the water wheel would end up travelling through the water to save Thomas from trouble. It’s just lazy storytelling.

And... then there’s the theme. How does “don’t waste water” correlate to anything that was in the episode itself? Absolutely, it’s important to not waste resources. But if you’re gonna teach these messages (like the show itself did in School of Duck), at least tie them in to the story! And no, just showing water doesn’t count...

Final Thoughts

I can’t wait for the season to be over so I can be done with the franchise for good. I’m doing what I can to get these reviews done, but the fact is it’s wearing me down fast. If it’s shown me anything, it’s that the writing team has zero investment in this little experiment. And if they don’t... well, why should anyone else?

This episode was scrambling to reach mediocrity and it couldn’t even get there. It’s so nakedly contrived and weak that I had zero investment from the get go. They tried to make it entertaining, but with how far they travelled, it feels ludicrous more than it does entertaining.

Rating: Bad (2/10)

Season 22: Tiger Trouble

A story that’s let down by the first half, really.

I like the message and theme this is trying to convey. We really should do more to protect animals and punish the evil bastards wanting to hunt and kill them for fun. But that aspect got only half of the story’s focus.

The other was all about Thomas and Rajiv wanting to take the safari train... that’s never seen or mentioned after the story leaves the station. Heck, Rajiv even starts the episode with one train and ends it as a hired engine for the poachers. And there’s very little transition between the two, either. It feels like filler in order to get to the main meat of the episode, when they could’ve just gotten to that had more focus been on the latter plot line.

Maybe the story has Rajiv hired out from the start and, because of his high and mighty attitude, he doesn’t realise what he’s a part of until it’s too late. Maybe the poachers actually catch the tigers and Thomas and Shankar have to track them down. Then, Rajiv has to reflect on his actions so that he’s brought down a peg or two.

Also, that fantasy sequence was really random... but not in the right ways. Like the one in The Other Side of the Mountain, it adds nothing to the story and feels more like they’re wanting to sell a toy. It’s the only one this season I can say that I don’t like.

Also, Thomas’ tiger design looks off. If you’re going to make him look like a tiger, make sure the design also covers the running board as well. As it was, it just stood out like a sore thumb.

The poachers were also complete idiots. Which makes sense since real life poachers are also idiots (and evil). But... why did they run over the railway lines where everyone could easily have caught them? Why not turn around and run through the reserve where the trees would’ve hidden them better?

Final Thoughts

Nitpicks aside, I thought this was alright. The theme is incredibly important, and one that kids can easily grasp. But it would have been better had that been the entire focus rather than half of it. Since the other half was pointless, my rating can only be one that goes straight down the middle.

Rating: Average (5/10)

Season 22: Apology Impossible

Episodes like this should be a reminder that quality isn’t guaranteed just because an episode is set on Sodor.

I know what the intention of this episode was. It was meant to show that James is too proud to apologise... even though this theme has been done frequently in the franchise. Fact is, however, intent means nothing. The execution of the story matters. And in that regard, this episode is atrocious.

It started well; hammering in that James still sees Philip as beneath him and Philip getting frustrated about that. I was hoping that it would lead to a scene where Philip finally stood up for himself against a bully.

But... nope.

Once again, Philip backed down. And the worst thing is he had THREE ENGINES AS BACK UP! They could’ve easily pushed James out of the way and that could’ve led to a scene where everything could be ironed out.

But we couldn’t have that. We just had to have James get his own way and inconvenience everyone else. Again.

“But he looked guilty and apologised in the end. That makes it alright, doesn’t it?”

Well, no. Because the apology felt incredibly hollow and was only accepted by Philip because he’s a naive child (not a knock on him, just describing his character). Not only that, but I’ve watched the show long enough to realise that James will learn nothing from this. He’ll still be incredibly arrogant and think the world owes him everything.

Yes, that little segment at the end says that “you should never be too proud to apologise and own up to your mistakes”. But all I can take from it is “you should never stand up to your bullies”. That is a horrible, toxic lesson to teach, especially to the preschoolers watching this.

Final Thoughts

Philip gets a rough deal with so many episodes he’s in. And this is the nadir of his mistreatment. It’s the same problem he had in The Great Race, only magnified (it was the main plot point here) and made worse (in the former, Vinnie got some comeuppance and Thomas and Ashima were actually there to help him).

The writing team should be ashamed of themselves for letting the episode come out in this state, and it’s earned the title of worst episode ever.

Rating: Atrocious (-10/10)

Season 22: School of Duck

I’m no Duck fanboy or anything. Heck, I wasn’t even bothered if he’d appeared after season 12. But after this, I honestly think he deserves more.

This was Thomas, Percy and Old Slow Coach done right. The plot was more focused, the characters were better and at least Dexter has more of a chance to have more screen time than Slow Coach (who deserved so much more than she got).

The theme was great also. I’m very impressed that they managed to weave one of the UN’s goals into the show in a natural, logical way. I also like that a seemingly random conversation between Reg and Duck actually led to the plot’s resolution. Even the trumpet wasn’t forgotten about, being used as a makeshift flower pot.

Dexter is also a really nice character. It’s a bit of a shame that he’s not a GWR-based coach, but I can understand that budget and time constraints would prevent that. It also makes more sense to use an NWR style coach rather than a Furness Railway or GWR Clerestory randomly appearing. But he’s a character that would make children want to go to school, and that’s lovely. Plus, Mark Moraghan provided an excellent voice for him. I’m glad he’s been given a new role now the narration is done by Thomas.

The episode was also rather funny. Reg playing the trumpet and Duck’s interaction with Gordon being particular highlights.

It’s a bit of a shame that Ryan was nowhere to be seen since he works on the Harwick extension as well as Daisy, but I can understand if he had no reason to be in it.

Also, and this is less an issue with the episode, but it’s an issue that it brought up. Why can’t Toby just have two coaches? Why does Henrietta have to be excused out of a story for Hannah to be used? The first time I can understand: it was the main focus of the episode. But this time?

Better yet, why were the Slip Coaches with Edward? Why are characters in really random locations these days? It completely devalues the locations they’re supposed to be at. Philip, for example, works at Knapford yet stays at Wellsworth. Why doesn’t he just work at Wellsworth? Thomas working everywhere makes sense (sort of) since he’s the character the show now revolves around.

Final Thoughts

This was a really good episode. Duck is at his most endearing, and shows that he cares despite his no nonsense Great Western attitude. The theme is important since these kids will have to be responsible for the messes that the idiotic older generations have left behind.

It basically does everything a good episode needs to do.

Rating: Great (9/10)

Season 22: Outback Thomas

If An Engine of Many Colours was a surprise, this was an absolute bombshell.

This episode had what so many international episodes have lacked. There was a focused plot that was fairly well paced and there was some actual entertainment value throughout. Out of all the international characters this season has focused on, Shane, Aubrey and Aiden have such a sense of fun about them, and they clash with Thomas’ inquisitive nature well.

It’s also one of the few episodes where I felt that going global was necessary for a plot to happen. Thomas truly felt out of his depth (in other episodes, he took over and just... appeared to fit in as though he was on Sodor) and he actually suffered some sort of consequence for his actions.

That’s not to say it’s perfect. First off, the theme has been done before to a similar quality. What doesn’t help is that the ending segment put a spotlight on the episode the lesson was taken from. It was also learned by the exact same character as well, so it makes the lesson feel even more redundant. This is another example of why using Thomas for every international episode was a bad idea. They should have used a character that can a) bounce off Shane well and b) actually needed to learn not to lie.

Also, Thomas taking Shane’s train was really contrived, only happening because the plot demanded it. We even saw Shane rescue Thomas and it’s never explained where he’d been. At least when Thomas took Henry’s train back in the day, they played off his illness. Here? Nada. It’s poor storytelling.

Final Thoughts

This was a really enjoyable episode. It had its storytelling issues and the theme was nothing new (even for Thomas’ character), but it had strong characters and genuinely felt it was well paced. The time flew by watching it.

I think it helped that they actually hired an Australian born writer to script it, whereas other episodes have been written by British writers. Basically, this should be shown as proof as to why a more diverse writing team is essential. Had they hired an Indian and Chinese writer for those episodes, I can guarantee they’d they’d be much better.

Side note: Tim Bain is rather handsome..!
Rating: Good (7/10)

Season 22: An Engine of Many Colours

Well, this was a nice surprise!

Let’s be blunt here: as good as the Sodor episodes are, especially compared to the international ones, let’s not pretend that there haven’t been bad ones. I’ll freely admit that I judged the episode harshly when I first saw the description.

But then I saw it... and genuinely loved it! Although there are two real sticking points for me.

James’ fear of being painted blue primarily comes from a quote that was made 34 years ago. Yep, it’s another instance of fan service jarring a story completely. Why? Because James has had so many different accidents and incidents over the years, and not once has this ever been brought up again. Hell, it didn’t even need to be brought up here. They could’ve just said there wasn’t enough red paint, only for some to be delivered just as James is repaired.

The other jarring part is that this episode airs halfway through season 22. I can understand why it wasn’t aired during last season since Mattel cut it short. But why didn’t they air it at the start of this one? We’ve seen James many times this season, so there’s no tension or doubt that he’d be painted red again. That’s not a fault on the writing team as they’ve no control over what airs when and in which season. But couldn’t Mattel have...

No, wait, this is a company that just canned two ranges to try and recoup losses rather than look at what they have created, realised they fucked up and take things back to the state where consumers would buy their stuff. Especially since tablets and mobile games are a thing. They’re also thought that taking Thomas worldwide - with the personality of a deck chair - and dominate everything while he’s in those countries was a brilliant idea that would bring viewers in...

Anyway, the episode itself was a lot of fun to watch. It was the best way to showcase what the fantasy sequences are capable of, and they made things much more entertaining to watch. It hid the fact that the story was fairly thin really well, and that’s all they really need to do. Also, James acting like the new paint was a placebo was hilarious.

Another thing I liked was that Stanley actually said something! The character himself has really lost his lustre since The Great Discovery (which is 10 years old now!), and became completely irrelevant as soon as Ryan arrived and had more character than the silver engine could dream of. But I still like him, I like his design and always appreciate when the writers do something with him.

I also really like how the writers handled the theme of “looks aren’t everything, it’s the personality that counts”. As a gay man who sees a lot of arrogant, vain, close minded guys who think only muscles and abs matter, it’s a theme that resonated with me a lot. It made me feel a bit more confident in my own skin and made me feel I was doing something right by trying to showcase my personality more. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate that isn’t worth my time. It’s a theme that kids really need, and the fact they managed to teach that through these characters is fantastic.

Final Thoughts

It’s rather interesting that some of the best, most entertaining episodes in the last two years have starred a main character that I disliked. But it seems like the writers and Rob Rackstraw are really hamming up James’ vanity and it’s working wonders. He’s honestly one of the most entertaining characters in the main fleet now, and this is a brilliant showcase as to why.

It definitely could’ve done without the fan service and it should’ve aired much sooner so the outcome was less predictable than it was. But the journey to the destination was entertaining enough throughout, and that theme is an incredibly important one.

Rating: Great (9/10)

Season 22: Thomas and the Monkey Palace

So bored...

I’ll be fair with this one: while it does still have a minimal story, at least there is a story being told. The problem is that it’s all over the place.

The title says that the focus will be on the monkey palace, yet it’s only seen in one shot. Instead, the focus is on the coconuts with the monkeys getting in the way (by the way, the “coconuts falling out of the truck” thing felt so contrived. Ignoring the fact they used a truck that is normally used to transport animals, that bash felt far too overblown for what it was. But then, this is Thomas & Friends in 2018, so I guess that’s to be expected).

And then there’s the thing that always plagues these worldwide stories: not much happens in them. Sure, it jumps from plot point to plot point, but the stuff between them - even the plot points themselves - just aren’t interesting. There’s simply nothing at stake to be invested in. And that’s because all of the focus is on Thomas and the monkeys and none is put on the impact the lack of coconut water is having on the people.

I don’t even think the fantasy sequence was that interesting either, and they’re usually the best bits of these episodes. It has little to do with the story and it’s just not as bombastic or flat out weird as ones we’ve seen before.

The theme of “paying attention” kinda works, but it’s been done before and done better. That’s... all I can really say about it.

Final Thoughts

I read a tweet saying that these episodes are “solely for the younger audience”. Ignoring the fact that every episode of the franchise has been aimed at a younger audience (except maybe season 5), that’s no excuse to not put any effort into the story. The last two episodes (that aired in the UK) have felt like they’re using animals as a crutch to carry them through, which is lazy storytelling regardless of the target audience.

Other than that, there’s little to talk about. It’s just a boring story with an abrupt ending, barely any character (or even character interaction), and a theme that’s been done better before. It’s like I said when I reviewed Thomas in the Wild: it’s all style, no substance.

Rating: Atrocious (-9/10)

Season 22: Thomas & the Dragon

So I thought I’d review another episode that Australia aired first: Thomas & the Dragon!

And... it’s much better than a lot of the international episodes. Although, considering the quality of the others, that’s not saying much. The big thing it did right was mix all the cultural aspects with an actual story. Granted, this shouldn’t be praiseworthy. But the other world based episodes have failed more often than not in that department, so...

Also, that fantasy sequence was possibly one of the best ones so far. I’ll always prefer the one in What Rebecca Does because of how wonderfully bizarre it is. But in terms of tension and atmosphere, this is on another level.

Unfortunately, this suffers from a problem that, actually, has been prevalent for a series that’s trying to up the pace: the plot is so thin that it exposes the slow pace of the storytelling. Granted, there were funny moments scattered throughout this episode to try and distract from this - like Yong Bao and the chicken. But had these been more consistent, this issue wouldn’t be as noticeable. It’s how SpongeBob made its way, and that’s been on air for nearly 20 years.

Then there’s the whole thing with the dragon and, seemingly, how Thomas had forgotten what one is. First off, we don’t know what sort of “carnival” that dragon was going to (come to think of it, that was a plot point they never completed; it was only ever seen in front of Thomas). Although that could be due for being too scared to be cultural back then. It’d also explain why the bank holiday was changed in Bulgy since America wouldn’t know what one was.

Second... yeah, it is kind of silly that they didn’t mention that dragon. But I’ll go one further and say their idea of continuity is ridiculous. I’ve said it before and it bears repeating: they really need to stop using continuity for fandom points and use it more for good storytelling. But then, if they used it here, it would break it a bit since Thomas would know that they might use a paper dragon to begin with. Ergo, the minimal plot they had would be pointless.

One thing I really loved though was Thomas’ connection with Yong Bao. It’s like his friendship with Edward, which I’m perfectly fine with. I think it could be a bit better if Thomas was given more character, but it’s still one of the few high points of the whole worldwide half of the season so far.

And the “it’s OK to feel scared, just talk to someone” theme was OK. Although it’s one of those lessons you learn in hindsight rather than as it happens, hence it was mentioned after the main episode had ended. It’s a unique way to utilise that segment, since every other episode has used it to emphasise the lesson the bulk of an episode tried to teach.

Final Thoughts

I’m still not sold on this whole worldwide idea (mostly because the episodes themselves haven’t exactly endeared me to it), but this episode is still definitely one of the decent ones. Not one that you have to go out of your way to see, but it’s pleasant enough. The character dynamic was actually really fun and the fantasy sequence was excellent. But it does have the same issue that other episodes like this have: all style, little substance and not enough humour to hide that.

At least it’s not as bad as the last two episodes. It’s not saying much, but I’ll take any positivity I can get from the show at this point..!
Rating: Good (7/10)